At last, our AAA provided internet connection for visitors. Yey! I’m so happy! But there’s a construction ongoing so it’s dusty. Allergens go away!

This is an unbelievable day. First, I can’t believe I’m blogging on my phone. Second, I’m doing it while waiting for my interviewer who is very late. I want to leave already. And third, I’m on the clock at work.
I feel so guilty even if things aren’t happening as I want them to be at work.
I love my job but I hate what’s happening. I also have an interview on thursday but I’m planning not to show up.
Please can we just get over with this…

I don’t know what really is happening lately. I hate her. Why does she have to be perfect and everybody loves her. Even if I work hard, it doesn’t seem to matter. They still like her more just because she’s pretty. She even flirted with someone she knew I really like. And now, she’s bothered because the guy seems to like her. I hate it. I hate that I am insecure. I miss the me who is confident and doesn’t care what others think. I miss college. I miss my friends. I need them. I love my job but things are just getting out of hand. I feel so incompetent sometimes. She’s wants to do all the work and I am left with nothing. I hate being this way. I want positive energies. Positive energies.

It’s my 21st birthday today and I suddenly thought of my blog. I missed blogging. I want to start again. Oh well.
I hope today will be a good day. Bless me!

Today, I got my very first paycheck. Before I thought that when you got your first paycheck, you’ll splurge yourself with luxury. But today, I kept myself from buying anything. I almost don’t want to spend it at all. I guess having a job makes us more responsible individuals. How I miss the times that I still wait for my allowance from my parents and not from my company.

I hope that I’ll last in this job. I don’t don’t like it. I just feel like I’m  still on the adjustment period. I hope that I’ll eventually like or even love this job. I do hope and pray.

Super excited to enter a new phase in my life…

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don’t judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren’t necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people’s eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don’t focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx

Here is the analysis:

1. You’ve got great self-confidence and you’re full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You don’t really care about other people’s feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn’t always about parties.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people’s eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up–it’s okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test80.aspx?q=b

Here is the analysis:
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that’s why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don’t just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person’s personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn’t meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test79.aspx

Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm – you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test78.aspx

You value your friendships: 65%
You love your friends very much – so much so that it’s actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody’s friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

Excited and anxious at the same time. The feeling that changes will soon rush into my life.
Moving into a totally new environment and will soon have new responsibilities to bear (hopefully… this means a job… haha…)

As most of my friends know, I am not a coffee drinker. I get palpitations whenever I drink coffee. I prefer milk or hot chocolate. But today, I bought Cappuccino from Starbucks today. My sister was surprised.

“Oh, bakit ka namili ng kape? Anong meron?”

“Bakit hindi? Nalulungkot ako. Bigla akong nag-crave ng kape sa Starbucks.”

So, why was I lonely? I am not depressed, I’m just lonely. I’ve been very positive and bubbly the past few days but today, for some reason, I just can’t be happy. I can’t feel well.

For the first time, I desperately want to get a job. I prayed for it. Prayed harder everyday but the job didn’t want me. For the past two months of job hunting, I’ve never liked a job that much until this one came along. For the past job applications, I didn’t attend further interviews in spite of the invitations because I always see something wrong. And for those that my application didn’t go further, I didn’t mind. I wasn’t that interested anyway. But this one, I super duper like it but they don’t like me and they didn’t call anymore. Maybe this is not for me but I still feel lonely. I don’t know how to move ahead anymore. I think I’ll stop for awhile. Take a break or something.

Urgh. The palpitations are starting. It’s hard to type.

I read something on one of my friend’s blog. I know I’m not supposed to be disturbed but I admit that I was stunned with what I read. I’ve accepted a long time ago about his situation but there are times that I still couldn’t believe it. It seems like he is a totally different person. I like our relationship right now. Totally different with what we have before but I like it anyway. We can do stuff that we can’t do before. We go on dates. Eat together. Be carefree. But that is him with me. I don’t want to know what he do whenever he’s with his other friends.

I can’t help but know what his other world is, where I am not included. His blog entry was really weird. He’s so open about it and I… I don’t know what to feel. I feel awful that I’m like this because he’s my friend but I think sometimes reality really bites you. Once in a while.

My hands are shaking really bad right now. I don’t know if it’s the coffee, the frustration or the shock. I need a break.

I hate to admit but I got frustrated on my Graduation Day. I didn’t know I would be that frustrated until I was there already. I can’t say I had absolutely no regrets on decisions I made throughout my college life. As I look back, I thought I could have done better. I hate myself so much for saying that. I think not having much to do really makes you this “emo”.

One failing grade and I can’t get to be a honorable mention. My parents worked hard to give me this kind of education and I can’t even give them an award at least. They told me they were proud enough that their youngest daughter was able to graduate and that’s all I need to do to make them proud but I think it would them happier if they were to see a pin on my toga.

All I thought during the graduation was I’m going to study again and when I go up the stage again, I’ll be there to receive an award. I’m going to have a masteral and eventually a doctoral and I’ll be a child therapist.