It has been a year since I last posted in this blog. I missed it.
Writing in here feels like I am talking to myself.

Not a thing I planned for this year is happening. It seems that fate has another road for me.
Very different from what I hope it to be.
I am not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing.

I really want to study this year but I did not pass both law schools. Unfortunately for me.
I want to travel abroad. Even if I have the money, I would be so thoughtless if I do that since my dad lost his job in an African war. I have to use my money more wisely. And besides, the people I want to go with, decided that we should do an out-of-town trip instead. Less expenses, hopefully the same amount of fun. I think it would be.
My sister hasn’t found a job yet and I might move to a dorm if she doesn’t get a job soon. She will have to return to our hometown and I will be alone.
I want to get a new job. A job that really fits me. Why would I have a double degree to just have this job? I want to be somewhere I belong. I want to get a higher paying job to help my family. The sudden turn of events have also changed my priorities. Before, my parents are still helping me, I think this time, I have to help them instead.

I am afraid of what will happen in the future. No, not afraid, just anxious. I know there’s something out there for me, I just don’t know what it is and when it will come.
Waiting is really hard. So hard for me. I’m an impatient person.
But I guess we all have to learn things we don’t like.
Now, I’m at my crossroads, several paths are visible but it is still foggy enough that I can’t see where they are leading. I’m waiting for the fog to disappear so I can see or am I not suppose to see where it leads. Do I just have to trust in my heart to lead me where should I go.
Today or tomorrow or the day after, I will start somehow. I will be able to know where I should go at this crossroad of mine.